Thinking: A curse
Thinking about the messes we make and people who clean after us, the messes we clean for others and the messes we leave behind to rot
Thinking about the ghosts who haunt us at night, picking at us, robbing us of our sleep, reminding us of every mistake, every regret, every monster we have in us
Thinking of lost loves and why we let them die in the first place, why we lost sight of them somewhere along the way, letting them us escape right through our fingers
Thinking of solitude and loneliness, of the sinking feeling we get when the whole world turns black and empty and you realize that you’re utterly alone, and when you look at the mirror you have no escape from who you are, this is what you’ve become
Thinking of the pictures we took and the smiles she gave me and the tear stains she left on my heart when I realized she was gone
Thinking of u-turns and sidewalks, and people who walk and walk with no direction at all
Thinking of poets and garbage and beauty and rotten spaces and art and ugliness and the thin line between them all
Thinking of secrets we never tell a soul, not even our shadow, secrets who we will take solemnly to our graves, of words we will never let out, words that will die the moment our lives end
Thinking of paths and how lost I got along the way and how hard it is to find the path I want to walk in…
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